Slightly more subtle word padding.
Word count: 9697
This is the kind of stuff that makes me grin as I write it. And those are the best moments. I remember while writing The As Yet Untitled Baywatch Novel several moments that just made me smile and say, "Wow, I can't believe I'm writing this just to extend my word count and it's actually kinda funny...." Well, I had one of those moments today.
As I sit at my desk, twirling a pen across my fingers wondering what to do, my email application indicates that I have a new message.
"I've got mail!" I chime happily, as I do with each incoming missive. But then I pause. According to the clock in the upper-right hand portion of my screen (which is synched to Apple's time server, which is undoubtedly synched to an atomic clock buried deep within the mountains at NORAD, making it undoubtedly the most accurate timepiece in the world) it's somewhere around 4 AM. Who on Earth would be emailing me at this hour?
With fear and trepidation, I click on the icon of my email client, causing the window containing my inbox to expand beautifully from the dock at the bottom of the screen. Once it is done (and I finish contemplating just how much I enjoy the animation each and every time) I hesitantly scroll to find the new message. It's an email from someone identified only as "Wilkerson." I try to remember if that name has come up before but nothing immediately comes to mind. I make a mental note to Google the name and check my personal files later.
The subject of the message is somewhat perplexing: "urgently to you 112.5% increase all-important." What could that possibly mean? I spend several moments trying to figure it out before I decide that I may as well just open the email.
Oh. It's spam. Yeah, it's all about how I can be better in bed if I just increase the size of my.... Dammit, this is the last thing I need right now.
This is the kind of stuff that makes me grin as I write it. And those are the best moments. I remember while writing The As Yet Untitled Baywatch Novel several moments that just made me smile and say, "Wow, I can't believe I'm writing this just to extend my word count and it's actually kinda funny...." Well, I had one of those moments today.
As I sit at my desk, twirling a pen across my fingers wondering what to do, my email application indicates that I have a new message.
"I've got mail!" I chime happily, as I do with each incoming missive. But then I pause. According to the clock in the upper-right hand portion of my screen (which is synched to Apple's time server, which is undoubtedly synched to an atomic clock buried deep within the mountains at NORAD, making it undoubtedly the most accurate timepiece in the world) it's somewhere around 4 AM. Who on Earth would be emailing me at this hour?
With fear and trepidation, I click on the icon of my email client, causing the window containing my inbox to expand beautifully from the dock at the bottom of the screen. Once it is done (and I finish contemplating just how much I enjoy the animation each and every time) I hesitantly scroll to find the new message. It's an email from someone identified only as "Wilkerson." I try to remember if that name has come up before but nothing immediately comes to mind. I make a mental note to Google the name and check my personal files later.
The subject of the message is somewhat perplexing: "urgently to you 112.5% increase all-important." What could that possibly mean? I spend several moments trying to figure it out before I decide that I may as well just open the email.
Oh. It's spam. Yeah, it's all about how I can be better in bed if I just increase the size of my.... Dammit, this is the last thing I need right now.
posted by adam at 3:09 PM
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